I don't think it's a good idea to beat yourself up about all of your doubts and shortcomings, but I do think it's a good idea to assess where your particular weaknesses lie from time to time...
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When it comes to aikido, honestly there's not too much that I absolutely suck at (except maybe modesty ;-). Sure, I have good days and bad days and I have techniques and concepts that I'm better at than others. But in general I think I have a pretty good handle on what we're supposed to be doing and how to do it. One thing that I don't really understand is how to get from our current level of pretty-darn-goodness to that aiki ideal of magical awesomeness. Other than just a couple more decades of practice, I don't know if there is anything we should be doing that we're not doing to facilitate our transcendence from the mundane to the magical.
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In judo I'd have to say that I suck most at competition and competition-style training. That's just not all that interesting to me, especially with the judo competition rules getting more and more ridiculous every time they fiddle with them. Frankly I'd rather delve into self-defense, fitness, and personal development aspects of the art than worry about winning any more medals or trophies. If you think you want to do grappling tournaments then I think you ought to get into BJJ instead of judo because their ruleset actually makes sense.
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But the one thing that I think I really suck at most in the domain of the martial arts is delegation. I hate to turn the class over to junior instructors. Even though I know it is necessary for their continued education and growth and for the continuation of the art, it's just one of my personal glitches. I want to get better at delegating teaching duties when appropriate.
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So, there you have it. If you're looking for a mystical guru who knows how to guide you to transcend to the magical realm of aiki, I'm not that guru. If you're looking for a judo champion to coach you on how to be a judo champion, I have no interest in that either.
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If neither of those sound like what you want to get out of martial arts, then come on down and work out with me and I think you'll have a pretty good time and get some pretty good results.
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Patrick Parker is a Christian, husband, father, martial arts teacher, Program Director for a Cardiac Rehab, and a Ph.D. Contact: mokurendojo@gmail.com or phone 601.248.7282 木蓮
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